


Love

by blankvellum



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Closeted Character, Drama & Romance, Falling In Love, Gay, Heartbreak, M/M, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Pining, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-20 21:48:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21288704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankvellum/pseuds/blankvellum
Summary: Scorpius loved James Sirius Potter.Sequel to  Hate
Relationships: Scorpius Malfoy/Albus Severus Potter (one sided), Scorpius Malfoy/James Sirius Potter
Comments: 11
Kudos: 57





	Love

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you everyone who showed interest in my first story! I hope you'll like this one as well. It's 4 times as long! But it's done!

Scorpius Malfoy loved James Sirius Potter. It wasn't love at first sight, but James had always caught his eye. Admittedly it was quite hard to not catch his eye seeing as James would not leave him alone for anything. No matter how hard Scorpius would try, James would find him and try to bring him down. Scorpius' father had taught him to not engage in confrontation, to simply ignore them. Nothing made people madder than being ignored. So that's what Scorpius did, he tried to avoid him at all costs.

James was not deterred. Scorpius believed this actually made him try harder, James did not tolerate being ignored. His best friend and James' brother, Albus, would beg James constantly to leave him alone. James was never one to listen to his brother or anyone really. 

James was a force to be reckoned with, he was living, breathing fire to Scorpius. He ran hot. Everything James did was with passion, except for maybe classwork. So accosting Scorpius was no different. He especially liked to intimidate him physically which included tackling him to the ground.

It was 5th year when Scorpius got absolutely fed up. He had no time for James' shit, he had to study for his O.W.L.s. So one day, Scorpius fought back. This seemed to incense James. James had pinned him up against the wall, Scorpius saw a fire in his eyes he hadn't seen before. Then James kissed him, full on. Scorpius had been too shocked to pull away. 

When Scorpius tried to address it, James had just told him not to tell anyone and walked away. Scorpius figured it was a fluke and it wouldn't happen again. How wrong he had been.

"Stop. Talking." James had said when Scorpius tried to question him after he had accosted him a second time. So Scorpius did and he got lost in the feeling of James' body pressed up against his and his delicious mouth. He didn't move away or try to push him off. What was wrong with him?

Eventually they graduated to broom cupboards and secluded classrooms where James would feel him up. James was insatiable. He couldn't go a day without touching Scorpius. Honestly, Scorpius loved it. He loved the way James kissed him with such fervor. He loved when James would mark him, even though he ended up covering them up anyway.

"What are we?" Scorpius had dared ask one day after a long session in the broom closet.

"We aren't anything. I'm not bloody gay all right?" James had said rather defensively, he stalked off leaving him alone in the broom closet.

The next day things returned to normal. Scorpius didn't bring up the status of their relationship again. 

At the end of his 5th year Albus found out about him and James. He guessed one day he had decided to follow him since he was suspicious. On the train back home Albus and James had a knock down, drag out fight. That was an uncomfortable train ride. 

Scorpius spent much of the summer holed up in his room, hiding away from his grandfather. His Grandfather had somehow found out he was gay and went on an endless rant about honor and how this was not befitting of an heir. It was hell to say the least. He lamented to Albus about it through letters. Albus kept on insisting he stay at his house.

Scorpius got a letter one day that read:

__

__

__

__

S,

Go out into the hallway.

\- J

__

Was the letter from James? Scorpius found it strange that James would write him, but he went out into the hallway. He heard a shout from his grandparents' room. The door opened to reveal a swamp, it poured out into the hallway. Must have been the portable swamp from Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes. Scorpius smirked when he saw his grandfather soaked from head to toe, various swamp creatures latched onto him. It honestly made Scorpius' day. He just hoped his grandmother hadn't been in there.

The next day he received another owl that read, 

__

_S, _

__

__

Use these wisely

_\- J_

__

__

__

Attached were puking pastilles and U-Kno-Poo pills. Scorpius knew exactly what to do with them. The products definitely made the rest of his summer more bearable. Somehow James, his tormentor, had become James, his defender. It was a strange development. Did James Sirius Potter actually /care/ about him? Scorpius smiled at the thought.

Scorpius sat with Albus on the train as normal going back to Hogwarts. As Albus talked Scorpius wondered where James was right now, what he was doing. Scorpius honestly couldn't wait to see him. 

James had sought him out after the feast in the Great Hall. Scorpius thanked him for his help over the summer. 

"Don't go all soft on me now." James had told him, waving his hand dismissively. 

Still his dismissive nature didn't matter. James had already started to become embedded in Scorpius' heart.

The classes on their first day had ended. It had only been 10 minutes after class had ended when James had sought him out. He led them into a broom cupboard. 

"Bloody hell, James! What are you doing on the floor? That's disgusting!" Scorpius had exclaimed once James had dropped to the floor in front of him on his knees. 

"You'll see." James said with a sly grin as he unzipped Scorpius' pants letting them fall to the ground. He had slid the underwear down as well which made Scorpius feel very exposed. They had only ever really done things over the clothes. 

Scorpius watched as James held his cock in his hand before he took him into his mouth. It really was an erotic sight. Scorpius couldn't keep his eyes open long though, the feeling was better than anything he'd ever felt before. He leaned his head back against the wall. 'Straight, my arse.' Scorpius thought to himself, amused.

Hogsmeade weekend came around soon enough and Scorpius held out hope that James would ask him. Or at least want to spend the weekend with him one way or another. There was no mention of it from James. However, Scorpius knew better than to bring it up. 

Albus looked at him sadly, "Scorpius, didn't you know? James is going with Jennifer White."

Of course, it made sense. Jennifer White was a Ravenclaw in James' year, all the boys found her to be the best looking because of her voluptuous body and big breasts. Scorpius wanted to crawl into a hole for even thinking it was a possibility. 

He had ended up just going with Albus as friends, like usual. What were the odds he'd run into James? Incredibly likely it seemed because he had seen James with Jennifer, both pressed up against each other, by the bathroom at The Three Broomsticks. Scorpius ducked out as soon as possible opting not to use the bathroom in case James saw him. James hadn't sought Scorpius out for a whole week, too caught up in Jennifer White he supposed. He had to be with what high of a libido he had. 

During that week Scorpius thought it was over. That James had, had enough of him. He was only a passing fancy. Then James finally approached him.

"What? Jennifer not enough for you anymore?" Scorpius responded to him coldly.

"Come on, don't be like that. It's not like we're together or anything." James said.

Though the words were true, they still stung. Scorpius decided to let it go though. Something was better than nothing right? Albus hadn't agreed with him. 'You shouldn't be with someone who doesn't want to be with you 100%.' Albus had said. What did Albus know about relationships anyway?

Scorpius' father had allowed him to spend half the holiday break at the Potters. Scorpius had been excited to spend break with Albus. He also had been quite excited to give James his gift. He had gotten him new gloves for Quidditch. The look on James' face was etched in Scorpius' memory forever. He looked at him in awe, fondness in his eyes. James had told him that he hadn't gotten him anything. Scorpius hadn't minded. The way James had looked at him was a gift in itself. He'd give James everything in the world as long as he'd keep looking at him like that.

One day in February James had taken him to the Room of Requirement. He had never taken him there before. It was light, warm, and most importantly, clean. There was also a big bed in the middle of the room. "Are you trying to seduce me?" Scorpius had asked.

James smirked, "That depends. Is it working?"

"Maybe a little." Scorpius admitted. 

"Then yes, I definitely am." James said, then kissed him hungrily.

It was in that room where they shagged for the first time. Scorpius had been on cloud nine, so happy. James even held him a little after. James was not a selfish lover, he always put Scorpius' pleasure above his own. Though Scorpius was pretty sure James got off on getting Scorpius to make the most noise. James had never asked Scorpius to suck him off which he thought was strange. Scorpius had offered, but James always refused.

Scorpius wasn't looking forward to going back to Hogwarts for his last year. Sure, he was going to be Head Boy, that was great, but James wouldn't be there. That alone seemed unreal to him since James had always been present in every year of Hogwarts, good or bad.

7th year went on regardless of James' absence. His absence did allow him to work harder he supposed. He kept himself busy by studying and hanging out with Rose and Albus. Each Hogsmeade Albus would try to convince him to go on a double date with him. Scorpius adamantly refused every time, he had no interest in anyone else. Just James. So him and Albus would just go together as always.

During Christmas time at the Burrow James had accosted him in a cupboard. That would have to hold him over for the rest of the year.

Finally, Scorpius had graduated from Hogwarts. After he had spent a decent amount of time at home he went to James' flat. "I missed you." Scorpius had said, expecting James to effectively shut the door in his face for being a sad sop. James had invited him inside instead. James continued to blindside him like that.

Things changed from that night on Scorpius noticed. That night James was more tender with him, he took his time. They actually talked, Scorpius stayed the night. He fell asleep in James' arms, he'd never felt so happy.

Both Scorpius and Albus had gotten jobs at the Ministry. Scorpius was in the Department of the Control and Regulation of Magical creatures and Albus was training to be a Curse Breaker. They moved into a flat together like they had planned to since they were kids. Life was pretty good.

Then Scorpius decided to open his big mouth and tell James he loved him. James left his own flat in a hurry. This was it, he had done it now. Now James would not want anything to do with him anymore. He vented all this to Albus. 

"Of course, you would think this was your fault. Merlin forbid you tell the guy you're sleeping with you love him. What a scandal!" Albus had said sarcastically.

"I ruined everything!" Scorpius had lamented.

The next day James had stopped by, very apologetic. He had gotten him a Kneazle. Scorpius used to have two kneazles as a boy. He loved them. He was ecstatic. 

"You're going to name him Grayson? He's not even gray, he's black!" James had exclaimed, looking scandalized. 

"He is a dark gray, James!" Scorpius had countered as Grayson nudged against him.

"Dark gray my arse. Midnight would be a more suitable name." James grumbled.

"My kneazle, my rules." Scorpius declared. Though James refused to call the kneazle, Grayson, instead he would call him Midnight. Poor thing probably was so confused.

Despite what Scorpius had originally thought, he hadn't ruined everything. He spent nearly half his time at James' flat now. James would cook him dinner, it was quite domestic. It was James' way of appeasing Scorpius since he refused to go out to dinner with him. That would be too much like a date, James Potter didn't date blokes. Apparently he could shag them though. Still it was nice, the domesticity. He could pretend like they were actually a couple in their own little bubble, could pretend that James loved him back. 

Did he wish he could be in a normal relationship with James? Absolutely. Did he wish he wouldn't find other women's lingerie in James' bedroom? Of course, but what could he do? They weren't really together after all. 

"Stop messing with your collar, James." Scorpius scolded as he straightened his tie for the millionth time in 30 minutes. Tonight there was a ball happening for the Ministry of Magic officials. James had about as much fashion sense as a rat so Scorpius had to come by to make sure he looked presentable. 

"It's so itchy!" James complained.

Scorpius sighed, "Merlin, you're such a baby. Fine, I'll loosen it." Scorpius then brought his hands to James' collar again to loosen it.

"Why are you here anyway? I can dress myself." James said.

"You can dress yourself, but not well. I, mean, Merlin, who wants to see an Auror with wrinkly dress robes?"

"They weren't that bad!" James defended.

"They were really bad." Scorpius confirmed. He honestly was not looking forward to tonight. He didn't much feel like seeing James with some bird on his arm all evening. 'Then just don't look at him.' Albus had told him simply, like it was that easy to not look at James sodding Potter. 

The night was as bad as Scorpius feared it would be. So many stuffy people, a lot of ladder climbing. He imagined his grandmother would have loved the intrigue. It really wasn't paramount for Scorpius to be there, his boss didn't care if he attended. Albus, however, had wanted him to come since Albus' boss had required him to be there. So Scorpius went and watched some bird hang on James' arm all evening. He had a terrible time. Albus so owed him.

Albus' new favorite thing to do with Scorpius would be to take him to hang out with his cousin Louis and Louis' boyfriend. They both were great and all, but Scorpius could do without Albus' comments afterwards. 'Don't you want that, Scorpius? Look how happy they are! Don't you want to be in an actual relationship and do things!' It was getting to be ridiculous honestly. Though he supposed Albus had good intentions seeing as Albus was the one who would have to deal with a sad Scorpius when things weren't panning out with James as he wanted them to. 

"You have to leave him Scorpius! It's been five years and what have you got to show for it? You can't honestly say you're happy!" Albus said to him one day, a similar tune he had been singing for a long while. 

"I am happy!" Scorpius would always protest. James made him happy, but he also made him sad. 

"Scorpius, I can't do this anymore. This needs to stop." James said one day.

"You can't be serious." Scorpius said, immediately feeling ringing in his ears. This couldn't be right.

"This has gone on long enough. It's been fun, but it's time." James said.

Scorpius searched his face for answers, possibly for any chance that it wasn't true. "Please, James! You can't do this!" Scorpius cried out his voice shaky. He was having an out of body experience, this wasn't happening to him, this was happening to someone else. This wasn't him and James. James would never do this to him.

"I'm going to leave for a few hours. That should be long enough for you to get all your things." James said evenly. 

Scorpius couldn't breathe, he felt like he was drowning. "James, please! I love you!" A voice pleaded that didn't sound like his own. It was no use, James had left after turning his world upside down. Scorpius was left to clean up the pieces. He sat there, frozen for a good 30 minutes, he wanted to scream. He wanted to cry. He wanted James. Eventually Scorpius got up, he felt like a dead person as he went to gather things he had left behind. Before he left he took his favorite of James' shirts. James likely wouldn't notice.

He went back to his and Albus' flat hoping to cry in peace, but of course Albus was there. Scorpius couldn't even say anything at first, he collapsed onto the floor in tears. Albus was by his side in seconds. "You were right, Al. I should have listened. I'm so, so stupid!"

"Shhh. No, no you're not stupid. Come here." Albus said pulling Scorpius towards his chest, wrapping his arms around him. Scorpius just cried harder, he was sobbing so hard his sides hurt.

For weeks Scorpius hadn't wanted to do anything, getting out of bed in the morning was even a struggle. He wanted to stay in bed in James' shirt that no longer smelled like him. Albus was there for him every step of the way. Scorpius honestly didn't know if he could have gotten through it without him. 

Slowly, Scorpius started to feel somewhat normal again, as normal as someone who gave their heart completely to someone who didn't want them can be. Albus started to encourage him to 'put himself out there'. Scorpius didn't really think he had anything that anyone would really want. Albus disagreed with him, so with Rose's help Al started setting Scorpius up on dates.

They were all nice enough, but there was one big problem. None of them were James. He'd only ever wanted James, it felt wrong to be with anyone else. 

"I don't think this is going to work, Al." Scorpius finally said one day. "I think I'm just going to stay single the rest of my life."

"Don't say that, Scorpius. I just want you to be happy. You're the best guy I know. You deserve to be happy and to feel loved. I just feel like you don't see how amazing you are." Albus took a hold of his hand. "Scorpius, I.... want to be with you. Merlin, I've wanted to be with you since 4th year. To think things could have been so different had I been honest with you."

Scorpius looked at him confused. "What... are you saying, Al?" He already had an idea what he was saying, Scorpius just wanted him to be 100 percent clear. He was done navigating murky waters.

"I love you, Scorpius. Merlin, I Iove you so much." Albus breathed out.

Scorpius' heart was beating fast, no one had said that to him before, never in a romantic way. He felt so warm. He'd been wanting to hear those words for so long, albeit from someone else, but this would do. 

"Look I'm sorry if I made it weird, I guess I should just-" 

Scorpius grabbed him and kissed him. He had never thought of Albus in that way before, but he could take some happiness for himself couldn't he? Albus seemed surprised at first, but kissed him back. He honestly couldn't believe he was snogging his best friend. It felt....good, safe. He knew Albus would never hurt him, never leave him, never push him away. With Albus he could have the relationship he always wanted.

Now him and Albus were a couple and he was happy. It was nice to actually go out to dinner, to hold hands in public, to do couple things. He would never have to worry about Albus sleeping with anyone else, he always knew where they stood. Albus was a good boyfriend, the best honestly. So Scorpius felt horrible that sometimes when he woke up at night he felt a sting of disappointment that Albus was lying next to him and not James. He felt bad that he wished sometimes Albus was James. That was pretty messed up. 

Speaking of James, James didn't even look at him anymore. Whenever he would go with Albus to family events James would somehow always excuse himself whenever Scorpius was within his vicinity. It was not like James at all. He supposed James really didn't want anything to do with him. Whatever, fine, that was...fine. He was with Albus now, he didn't need James' attention.

One day, Scorpius had found out James had gotten engaged. He hadn't even known James was dating anyone. Not that he would really want to know anyway. The Potters were throwing an engagement party for their eldest son and it's not like Scorpius could not go. It would look weird seeing as he was dating Al. So he went. He met her. Her name was Rachel. Her blonde hair fell in long curly ringlets, likely not natural, and she had beautiful grey eyes. She was bubbly, charming, and pretty much perfect. So in other words, Scorpius hated everything about her.

James looked absolutely dashing, as he usually did. He had always filled out a suit nicely, it surprisingly wasn't the least bit wrinkly. 'Maybe his fiancee took care of it for him' Scorpius thought bitterly. He had to excuse himself every ten minutes so as to not have a complete mental break down. He would lie and tell Albus he wasn't feeling well and go to the bathroom to give himself a pep talk. This time, however, there were no bathrooms currently open so he went into a cupboard. It was a decent size, perfect for combating mental break downs. 

While he was in there the absolute last person he wanted to see came in. "James, what are you doing in here?"

"I could ask you the same question." James said, making no attempt to leave.

"I asked first." Scorpius said sharply. 'Please just leave. Please just leave.' Scorpius chanted in his head.

"I followed you in here." James said with a shrug as if that was an incredibly normal thing to do. 

"Shouldn't you be out there? It's your party after all." Scorpius emphasized. Why had James followed him in here? It was especially odd seeing as he would actively avoid him before. 

James laughed dryly, "My party? This whole party was my Mum's idea. So really, it's her party. I didn't want a bloody party."

Scorpius really didn't want to be here right now. He should have just told Albus he was too sick to go. But then Albus might have actually stayed home to take care of him, he hadn't wanted that. 

"Are you going to tell me why you're in here now?" James asked, his voice low, he was so close to Scorpius now he could feel his hot breath on his neck.

"No, actually. I'm not." Scorpius said indignantly. James chuckled then the next thing Scorpius knew James' lips were on his and he melted. He responded by wrapping his arms around his neck, not really the appropriate response. Scorpius wasn't exactly of a sound mind right now to question why exactly James was kissing him, but frankly, he didn't care. It was like old times, James had him pressed up against the wall, clothing was shed. 

Skin slapped against skin as James thrusted into him with abandon, both of them were panting. It felt... amazing. It was only when they were both dressing in silence that it sunk in what Scorpius had done. He cheated on Albus. Albus, his best friend, who had only ever been loving and supportive. James was engaged and he just let him shag him. Bloody hell, what was wrong with him?

"Are you all right? You don't look well." Albus had asked, concerned, once Scorpius returned back to him. 

"You know, I actually don't feel so good. I think I might pop off early." Scorpius said. He felt like an awful person. 

Albus nodded. "All right. I'll leave with you, yeah? Let me just tell Mum first."

Scorpius threw up immediately after they had apparated to their flat. His mind was racing as to why James would have possibly just shagged him. It didn't make any sense. 

It had happened a second time at James' rehearsal dinner months later, in a cupboard at the Burrow this time. Scorpius had made a halfhearted attempt to push James away, but ultimately he hadn't wanted to. How could something so wrong feel so good and right?

When James' wedding day came Scorpius knew there was no way he could go. James would likely not want him there anyway, not like he would have gone if James had. Being there would just be too much for Scorpius, he told Albus he couldn't go. Albus didn't really question him on it, he wouldn't make him go. So Scorpius chose to spend the day with several bottles of Ogden's finest. "Don't judge me." Scorpius had snapped at Grayson who was eyeing him from across the room. He could be so judgmental sometimes. Bloody kneazles.

Time passed and Albus proposed to him on a cruise to the Caribbean. Scorpius said yes. Because why would he say no? He had no reason to say no. 'Sorry I can't marry you Al because I'm in love with your brother who is also married.' No, that wouldn't fly. 

As horrible as it sounded, Scorpius didn't want to marry Albus. Sure, he loved him. He just wasn't 'in love' with him and he didn't want to marry him. He couldn't very well say that though could he? He didn't want to hurt Albus. Though, in Scorpius' opinion Albus deserved a lot better than him. So one day Scorpius knocked on the door of James' lovely home he shared with his wife. 

"I'm marrying Albus, unless you give me a reason not to." Scopius blurted out, he didn't exactly know why he thought this had been a particularly good idea. 

"Why would I tell you not to marry my brother?" James asked him slowly like he was stupid or something. 

Honestly, what else did Scorpius expect James to say? 'Don't marry him, Scorp, I'm in love with you!' Well, actually, yes, that would have been nice. But it was James, of course he would never say that. In what world would James Sirius Potter ever say that to him?

Scorpius knew he couldn't use James to do his dirty work for him. So he'd have to do it himself. He broke it off with Albus that same day and it was awful. Scorpius decided he had to leave England, indefinitely. He had to get his life sorted out. Luckily, his Aunt Daphne and cousins lived in France so he could just move there, that way he would already know people. So that's what he did, he said good bye to his father, packed up his things, grabbed Grayson, and moved to France. 

Five years later, life in France had treated Scorpius pretty well. His boss at the ministry in Britain had written him a good recommendation to the Ministry in France so he had a job there. He had gotten another kneazle he named Jewel to keep Grayson company. He saw his Aunt and cousins a good amount, his father visited sometimes. Scorpius had built himself a decent life, he was happy.

One day Scorpius heard a knock at his door which Scorpius found strange. His Aunt and cousins never knocked, they just apparated in like they owned the place. Jewel and Grayson both seemed disturbed by this development. He went to answer the door. He opened the door only to see James Sirius Potter standing there. Was this some strange dream? "James? What are you doing here?"

James cleared his throat, "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for how I've treated you. You deserved better and I'm sorry."

Scorpius narrowed his eyes at him, "You came all this way to... apologize?" It seemed strange to Scorpius. It had been five years, why now?

"Well, yes. I have been very prideful, trying to repress one thing about myself I felt ashamed of. I'm honestly not even sure why I was ashamed of it, it didn't make much sense. I guess I thought it made me less of a man in my mind..." 

"What are you even talking about James?" Scorpius asked exasperatedly, crossing his arms. 

"I love you, Scorpius. I always have." James said, looking at him right in the eyes. 

"That's not funny, James." Scorpius said flatly, not believing what he was hearing. He had wanted to hear those words for so long, but they simply couldn't be true. 

"I'm not joking." James insisted. 

"What does your wife think of this development?" Scorpius asked. 

"We're divorced. A little over a year now." James stated.

"What do you want?" Scorpius asked shortly.

"I want you to come back. It's not been the same without you." James admitted.

"Why would I come back? So you can continue to keep me at arm's length? So you can get a good ego boost because poor, stupid Scorpius loves you so much? I'm not going back to that James, I refuse to be used again!" Scorpius lashed out, he was guarding his heart this time. 

"Look, it's not going to be like that anymore all right? No more sneaking around and hiding. I want to be together for real, I want to be a real couple. Please let me make it up to you, Scorpius!" James pleaded.

"No more hiding as in... you'll actually be seen in public with me, as a couple?" Scorpius inquired. Maybe he shouldn't be considering it after all that has happened. He couldn't help it, he had never stopped loving James.

"Yes, yes, of course!" James declared. 

"Ok.... I'll come back on one condition." Scorpius said. "Get down on your knees and ask me."

James then got down on his knees, no hesitation. He looked up at him, "Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, will you come back to England to be with me?"

"I don't know... I'll have to think about it." Scorpius grinned as James shot him a glare, he paused "All right, I suppose I will."

James got back up, "Git." He muttered before he pulled Scorpius in for a kiss. 

Scorpius loved James Sirius Potter.

\---------------------

A/N - I had a stupid debate with myself if it should be 3 or 5 years later, decided 5 would be better.


End file.
